


Once Upon A Time

by MistressKat



Series: The Unicorn [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pre-Slash, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-30
Updated: 2010-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressKat/pseuds/MistressKat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Doctor have a close encounter of the gnome kind and acquire an unusual passenger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon A Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [planetkiller](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=planetkiller).



> Written for [planetkiller](http://planetkiller.livejournal.com/) as a Thank You for thatthingshedid. Speedy and efficient beta by [moth2fic](http://archiveofourown.org/users/moth2fic), who has a special fondness for all things magical.

“Gnomes?” Jack hisses the question quietly but with a certain level of viciousness. “No, seriously. _Gnomes?_”

Jack’s legs ache from repeated hits of tiny wooden clubs, and his knees are wet. They’re hiding in the shrubbery.

In Jack’s experience that is never a desirable state of affairs to be in. He tries to convey this through furious scowling.

The Doctor doesn’t seem to notice. “Ergo-Lithians,” he whispers back cheerfully. “I’ve told you several times already; they’re called Ergo-Lith—”

“They have beards and little pointy hats! And, and, pipes!” It’s getting increasingly difficult to keep his voice down. “I saw some of them carrying around miniature fishing rods! I swear to God if anyone offers me a poisoned apple on this planet, I will kill you with my bare hands!”

The Doctor blinks twice in rapid succession. “But wasn’t that dwarves?”

Before Jack has drawn enough breath to tell exactly what happens to people who argue semantics in the middle of a gnome siege, a round wrinkled face pokes through the foliage. Its thin lips peel back, revealing a row of razor sharp teeth that gleam impressively in the shadows.

“Uhm, hello there,” the Doctor says, scrambling back on all fours. “We’re fully aware and respectful of the Non-Intrusion Agreement B14 that prohibits access from all extraplanetary species, but there was a slight mechanical problem with our ship and—”

“I don’t think they’re listening.”

By now there are more than a dozen angry Ergo-Lithians clawing their way through the bushes. One of them tells Jack his mother is a winged Gorhe, and even though he doesn’t know what that is, he’s inclined to agree on the principle. There’s a reason he never argues whenever someone calls him a son-of-a-bitch, and it’s not because he’s such an affable guy.

The Doctor’s grip on his shoulder is hard enough to leave bruises. “I think,” he states calmly. “We’d better run.”

They do.

The blue walls of TARDIS shimmer beckoningly between the trees as Jack and the Doctor sprint across the nauseatingly pretty meadow, long legs soon outdistancing them from the pursuers, if, unfortunately, not from their slings.

“Hurry up!” Jack’s shielding himself with his arms as best as he can, his larger bulk standing between the shower of stones and the Doctor who is fumbling with the lock.

“Come on, come on, just a little bit—”

Suddenly the door opens and they stumble inside, one on top of the other. The _thump thump thump_ of rocks hitting the outside of the Police Box increases in volume as the Doctor scrambles up to the controls.

One of the cables is still loose and the takeoff causes it to snake down the platform, spitting sparks like an electronic cat. Jack snatches the other man out of the way just in time, the shaking and trembling of the ship throwing them both to the floor.

Eventually things quiet down. Underneath him the Doctor is grinning, the curve of his smile pressing against Jack’s jaw line in a manner that could theoretically be accidental, but just isn’t.

“What’s so funny?” Jack asks, raising himself up on his elbows.

The Doctor is chuckling openly now. “Jacob would have _loved_ this.”

Jack can feel his brain shifting gears with an almost audible clang and then his own face splits into a wide smirk. “Well… I always found Wilhelm to be the more adventurous of the two.”

They’re both laughing, cocooned in an intimacy of narrow saves and shared memories, and despite appearances it’s not something that comes easy to either of them. Jack is acutely aware of just how close they are, pressed together from knee to chest. Before he can decide if he should do something about it, the Doctor’s eyes grow wide, focusing on a point behind Jack’s head.

“Huh,” he says, and Jack doesn’t want to know because nothing good ever comes from the Doctor saying _huh_, but he rolls onto his back anyway, craning his neck to see.

“Doctor.” His voice is surprisingly steady in the circumstances. “Is that a…”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

They stare silently for a long time, breathing in the warm smell of freshly cut grass and trying not to make any sudden movements.

Above them – two massive legs planted on either side of their prone bodies, its head hanging low and gossamer-like mane almost brushing their faces – the unicorn stares back.

The spiralled horn radiates light, so bright it hurts. It’s a good pain, like antiseptic on wounds, like flames on metal.

Jack closes his eyes and stays very still. “I need a drink,” he announces. “More than one.”

“Sounds like a plan,” the Doctor agrees, carefully not touching any part of the magical beast as he wriggles further away. “I know just the place.”


End file.
